Suffice it to say, prior to the project in question, this particular team member had demonstrated that he *was* under qualified for certain types of work, which had been made apparent by poor performance.
Now, this can be tricky, but it’s all about who you pick to be the messenger.
If Jace was a fellow manager, who perhaps had a right to expect input into the choice, he is, perhaps, owed that sort of explanation. I’d be ticked!”. Thanks for the great and interesting articles. But can you imagine the pain of rarely understanding anyone because letting someone into your heart actually hurts? If you don't feel like you can be yourself and be heard, it may bet hat you're worried about not being understood. This person often assumed the worst of me—that I was selfish and weak—and interpreted things I did through this lens. Validating someone’s experience is expressing empathy towards that person.
Which is the definition of kissing up. Instead, it often minimizes the other person’s pain and does little to connect with how he or she is feeling. If you can’t connect emotionally, hopefully you can at least reach a logical understanding of how they arrived at their conclusion.
And this is especially obvious when someone ignores you. This person needs to have a well-rounded understanding of both of you and remain neutral. Thank you for commenting. “I just have to sit there while someone complains to me and keep my arguments or solutions to myself?”. FYI, I'm not formally educated or licensed as a therapist, counselor, social worker, psychologist, or healthcare professional, though much of what I teach is informed by these. Each lesson is delivered fresh to your inbox each morning. When someone ignores you, it can really hurt, especially if you don’t know why. Instead of getting lost in your head, thinking about why they’re doing this and what you did wrong, guard yourself.
Maybe by choosing to offer understanding, we can influence the people around us to heal their pains so they can one day open their heart a little wider.
It's not about me.
Why has college gotten so expensive in the last 30 years? love someone without really understanding them, yourself focusing on your partnerâs flaws. For more information, view our full, How to Validate Someone When You Don’t Agree With Them. Maybe they're just emotionally immature and don't understand anyone's feelings, or maybe you two are just too different. Asking someone if you can share “what really happened” is extremely presumptuous, especially if they weren’t even there or if they don’t know the people involved.
When you do these things, it helps the other person feel loved and supported.
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